Decision making - choosing 'the one' when dress shopping. Making that final decision...

If you've been reading my blog posts, you'll have noticed that one of the pieces of advice I very often give to a bride when it comes to wedding dress shopping is to stop looking once you find one you love. Often ladies will visit my shop and tell me that they have fallen in love with one, two, three or four dresses already and I sometimes put the question to them 'why then are you still looking?'  The aim is to get it to one dress to wear on your wedding day - not to keeping adding to that list and seeing how many favourite dresses you can allow yourself to fall in love with.   However, I always assume that if they walked out of that previous shop (or shops) and chose to visit my shop, then they are still looking for 'the one' as they wouldn't still be looking!!!

However, sometimes a bride can get torn between two dresses.  She can feel really undecided and I'm often putting questions and scenarios to her to try and get her to think about he she would feel if she couldn't have a certain dress.   For example, how would she feel if we pointed out that the girl sitting beside her at work, or her cousin or sister-in-law was wearing the same dress? (and it was just before her own wedding!)  Would she be gutted?  Would the thought of not being able to get that dress if it went discontinued leave her really disappointed?  It wouldn't be the first time I've asked a bride to flip a coin and if she finds herself saying 'best of three' then it's the other dress...  or sometimes she just knows when that coin is up in the air!!

I came across this quote recently too by the actor Johnny Depp and it really struck a chord with me - but if we look at it in relation to wedding dresses instead. Just substitute the word 'people' with dresses and you'll catch my drift.  If you really loved the first dress, you wouldn't have even went looking at more dresses, let alone find yourself falling for another one.  I always say it's a bit like when you find your partner - if you're out looking for more frogs to kiss, there's something badly wrong, but if he (or she!) is the one, you won't care about the thought of never being with someone else.  

And remember, the biggest choice of all is picking the right person to be with,  Nothing else matters as much - even though for many, it may feel like picking your dress is the biggest decision you've had to make!!  You followed your heart and chose your partner based on what you felt in your heart (not based on the opinions and influence of a entourage of helpers) so follow your heart and you won't go wrong with the wedding dress either :)  

Eight top mistakes to avoid when looking for your wedding dress

You've just got engaged and one of the first things on your mind is the wedding dress.  Questions race through your mind - what shape will I wear?  What neckline will mine be?  Will it be a modern style dress? Will it be vintage inspired?  When will I start shopping?  Who will I bring with me? Where will I go to look?  What is my budget?   How much research do I do before I go shopping?

There are so many questions and so many ways to go wrong when it comes to picking your dress. I've got to see these over the ten years I've had my shop (Beautiful Day Bridal Cottage) and I hope to address some of these questions and help you steer away from making some of the mistakes that many brides make which will help you on your quest to find that perfect dress!!

1. Don't go looking too early.  You really shouldn't go shopping until at least 12 - 14 months before your wedding.  Couples tend to have longer engagements these days and the temptation is there to go looking as soon as you get the ring on your finger. If you go too early, you run the risk of over-thinking things and seeing styles that will be gone or discontinued by the time you are ready to buy.  New styles are always coming along, and if you buy 2 or 3 years before your wedding and a new trend comes along 12 months before your wedding, you may find yourself getting tempted to change your dress - a very costly thing to do!!  And as wedding dresses are made to order, there's no exchange policy in bridal shops if you change your mind!!!!  So go shopping when you feel it's time to start properly looking for a dress to wear for your wedding.  For some ladies, this time may be 9 months before, for others, it's 13 or 14 months before - each bride feels ready in their own time.  The key point is to go only when you are ready. This might sound logical, but we get numerous 'out for ideas' appointments where the bride isn't focused and ends up getting overwhelmed and more confused.   Plus, she may go back months later to see a dress she loved when it was too early for her to commit and find that it's been sold or has went discontinued. Don't assume that if you see one you love that it will be still there later on for you to come back to.
2. Don't go too late.  Wedding dresses have to be made to order, so if you leave it too late, you will be at a huge disadvantage as you will have a very limited choice ie. whatever the shop has in the size you are.  As a rule, most dresses need to be ordered about 7 months in advance (although some can be ordered a bit closer than that) so you will be cutting down your choices substantially if you leave it past this.  There is also a risk of 'panic-buying' your dress which you may regret!
3. Choose your helpers wisely.   I have a whole blog post dedicated to this one!!  My advice is to bring one or two helpers with you, and to make sure that they are on the same wave-length as you.  If your mother or sister or best friend is very opinionated and is always pushing ideas on you, then leave her at home and bring her along to see your dress once you've picked it.  I sometimes get brides who bring four, five or six 'helpers' and they are getting various opinions thrown at them before they even get to look in the mirror and end up feeling deflated if negative things are being said about how the dresses looks  (eg. 'that makes your bum look huge', 'you've got back fat in that one', 'you can't carry that style off', 'your shoulders are too broad to wear that neckline'.)  More of a hindrance that a help!!! Often your helpers will think they are giving constructive criticism, but what you find is that the whole experience just highlights your insecurities and turns into a bit of a nightmare - so choose wisely!! And remember that old saying about too many cooks!  
4. Don't have tunnel vision .   Many brides spend hours online looking at 6ft tall size 6 or 8 models who are perfectly proportioned and choose their type of dress based on what they see in these pictures.  They come to visit a shop and won't look at other styles, therefore limiting them to a style that may not be all that flattering compared to a different style of dress. It pays to keep an open mind when coming shopping, and don't forget that the staff in the shops have seen all the dresses on and will often be able to guide you to things that will be really flattering on.
5. Picking a dress to please someone else.  This one follows on from point number 3.  All brides will want to get opinions from friends, and/or family members - I can count on one hand how many have bought in my shop in the past ten years without bringing along a helper. However, she should be careful when it comes to taking opinions on board. Well-meaning friends may influence a bride to go for a dress that she doesn't really love. Up until she asks people for opinions, a bride may be over the moon with the dress that she has been considering, but if the negative comments follow, she may decide to choose something else based on the lack of enthusiasm from her helpers and she could end up with a dress that doesn't make her as happy, or as I call it, a 'compromise dress'.  Expecting others to refrain from voicing their opinions isn't realistic. Asking people for recommendations and advice is one thing, but asking them to give their verdicts about a specific dress is another. In the end, the wedding dress only needs to please one person: the bride. As long as she is happy with it, everything else should fall into place.
   
6. Trying on too many wedding dresses.  If you end up trying on dozens of dresses, they all tend to blur together in your mind, and what happens is that looking back and trying to remember  a single one can be just about impossible. If you try on too many dresses, you are a lot less likely to experience that magical moment of discovering the perfect dress when you try on one after another - after another after another.....- over a period of several months. (back to point one in the first tip - this often happens when you start looking to early!!) If possible, try to limit yourself to about 12 dresses at most (unless the 12 are horrible and you need to keep trying to find one that you look good in!) You should only keep trying on more dress when you the ones you've been trying aren't the right ones for you. In some cases, a bride-to-be may be tempted to keep trying on different styles because she just isn't ready to commit to a single one. This kind of thinking is dangerous and can lead to a lot of wasted time and confusion. If a bride tries on too many dresses, she's far more likely to second-guess herself as well and later doubt her decision.  Don't fall into that trap!!  I did a survey recently and found out that 40% of brides found their dress in the first shop, 26% on the second shop, and 18% in the third shop. (leaving 16% who went to look at 4 or more - one even went to 24 appointments!!!) so don't be assuming that something is wrong if you haven't visited 7 shops!!! That isn't the norm - far from it! 84% of brides buy their dress after visiting three shops or less, with the first shop being the most popular shop to buy in. 
7. Trying on dresses that are over your budget.  If you have a strict budget of £850, don't be tempted to try on a £1700 dress if there is no way that you can afford it.  It will only leave you feeling down in the dumps if you fall in love with it and can't re-work your budget to suit,  You will always look at the dress you end up buying and feel like it's second best.  I had a very depressed bride in recently who made the mistake of trying on and falling in love with a £5000 dress in another bridal shop which was four times her budget.  She was very frustrated trying to find one that lived up to this dress.  Always let the sales team know your budget and they will always help to guide you - they might even have a discontinued dress in the store room that would be perfect for you. 
8. Waiting for 'that reaction'  Some brides have been told that you will get a certain reaction when you find 'the one'.  Some people tell you that you should cry.  Others reckon you need to be jumping up and down with excitement.  The truth is, neither of these are common reactions and I can never predict how an individual will react when she finds her dress.  Some brides are more dramatic in general than others and they will have a different reaction compared to a more placid or easy-going bride.   If you find yourself saying that you really like a dress, but feel that you still need to keep looking, then it probably isn't the one.  Some brides tell me when they visit my shop that they have a potential dress picked out in another shop but not ordered, and I always remind them that they wouldn't be out trying more dresses on in my shop if it was 'the one.'  When you find 'the one', you won't be interested in any other dresses.  I often compare it to finding your man - I ask brides if they felt they needed to kiss all the men in their town to be sure that their fiancé was the one for them.  They all tell me that they fell in love and didn't need to kiss any more frogs to know . Finding your wedding dress is a bit like that and you shouldn't put yourself under any more pressure when you find one that you love to keep trying on more and more dresses to try and get some sort of stronger reaction.  When you fall in love, stop looking!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

The dress you will pick has to do one thing to you. It has to make you feel beautiful. You should look in the mirror and get a 'feeling' about it. For some, it's simply feeling like a million dollars.  For others, it's butterflies in their tummy or feeling their heart skip a beat.  For many it is feeling excited about your fiancé seeing you walking up the aisle in the dress you are standing in.  The earth won't move.  The tears probably won't flow, and you won't pass out with excitement, but you will will say 'I love this dress!!'  and the thought that for one reason or another you couldn't have that dress would probably make you feel gutted.                                                                                                                                                                                     

Best of luck with the wedding dress shopping!!!      xx Ciara           

Last minute availability for the Maggie Sottero Trunk Show on Sat 4th Oct!!

We've had a few ladies who cancelled last-minute for our Maggie trunk show (see previous blog entry to find out more about this event) so if you'd like to book in, please email me on beautifuldaybrides@hotmail.com or phone me after 9.30am on the event day on 02871 813682.


There are 30 dresses in on loan at the event from Maggie Sottero and it's a once a year event, so if you love Maggie dresses, get in touch and don't miss this opportunity!!

(plus there's 10% on all Maggie Sottero dressses for orders placed at the event)

You can also contact us through our facebook page if you follow our feeds on there.

Calling all 2015 brides - Maggie Sottero Trunk Show!!

It's that time again!  We're now taking bookings for 2015 brides for our annual Maggie Sottero Trunk Show Designer Weekend which will be held on the 4th and 5th of October.  If you're wondering what exactly a trunk show is, read on........

When the designers have finished showing the shop owners their new collections, each shop owner gets a chance to take 30 of their favourite dresses to their premises to show them off to their customers.  These are the dresses which are worn by the models at the catwalk shows and are generally size 8 dresses (suitable for trying on for brides size 12 or smaller). 


When the dresses come to our shop that weekend, we will be putting away any dresses which are not by Maggie Sottero and the dresses on show during the event will be our current Maggie dresses (ranging from size 10 - 18), plus the 30 dresses that are on loan.  We work strictly by appointment only and all appointments must be confirmed in the week of the event.   Anyone who decides to put a deposit on a Maggie Sottero dress during the event will get a 10% discount on their dress.

Please note that if you fall in love with one of the samples on loan, you will not be able to come back and try it on again as the dress has to be sent back after the event, so it's a good idea to make sure you bring any key decision makers with you that day.  You can't bring your mum or your best friend back the following week for a second opinion!!  So if you can't pick a dress without them, then make sure you bring them with you. 

It's always a good idea to have been out looking beforehand so that you feel ready to buy if you do find 'the one' without feeling the need to come back and see it again.  Also, to qualify for the discount, you need to place a deposit of at least £200 on the day.

Key points to remember
- 30 dresses on loan for 1 weekend only.  These can't be re-visited!
- Borrowed dresses are size 8.
- 10% off for orders placed at the event.  £200 minimum deposit.
- Bring your key decision makers with you that day (unless you are going to be making your own choice).
- Have a good idea of what you are looking for before you come.
- Book an appointment in advance.

Book now for our Autumn 2 day sale! (plus top tips for visiting a wedding dress sample sale)

All sample dresses in the sale will be reduced by AT LEAST 50%, with discounts of up to 75%.  The selection of dresses will include current season dresses (reduced for those two days only and then reverting to full price) and discontinued dresses.  Most dresses will be Maggie Sottero gowns, with dresses also by Essense of Australia, Special Day and White One,  Book now to secure your 1 hour private slot.  Thursday and Friday the 2nd and 3rd of October 2014.

Many dresses will be from our current collection and will only be reduced for the 2-day sale and will then revert to full price once the sale is over.  So remember to bring your purse and your helping crew!! 

People always ask me about sale days and what advice I would give anyone looking to come to one, so here's a list of top tips that I've put together which should help you to on your quest to find a dream dress at a bargain price!

Top tips for attending a sample sale..

1. Get out beforehand and try dresses on.
Don’t make a sample sale your first bridal shopping trip.  The girls who come prepared with ideas from trying on beforehand are the girls who have the most success at getting a bargain.  You will be restricted to the number of dresses you can try on (5 max!!)  so you don't get the normal private consultation to try and figure out what shapes and styles you prefer and which ones flatter your figure.  When you come to a bridal sample sale, you should already have a good idea of what style you are looking for, what size you need and what suits your shape.

2. Bring a friend

Don’t bring a whole entourage, but bring someone who will be brutally honest. Weddings are expensive and any discount you can get, especially if it’s on your dress, is well worth it - but only if you will be happy with it. Brief your friend to be brutally honest and listen to  her (or him!)  And remember that on a 2 day sale,  you can't go for a look and come back again the next week.  So if you need your friend/sister/mum with you to help you make the final decision, then make sure she comes with you to the sale event. 

3. Wear the right underwear
This is a wedding dress appointment necessity regardless, but make sure you wear the right undies! You need to do everything you can to see how the dress will fit you.   

4. Bring your purse!!!!!!!!!!!

You'd be surprised at how many people don't think about this one - remember, it's a two day sale, and we don't hold items over.  So bring your purse (we accept all major credit/debit cards) so that if you do find 'the one' then you can actually buy it!!! (and many of the dresses will be reverting to full price after the event)

5.  Ask the sales assistants about sizing.

Bridal sizes are generally a bit smaller than high street sizes, so when you are looking, bear that in mind.  But also, don't be afraid of looking at dresses which are a little bit bigger as they can always be taken in.  If in doubt, ask one of our sales assistants for guidance on the sizes when you are looking through the dresses.   All dresses will be grouped in sizes to make it easier.

Beautiful Day Bridal Cottage, Greysteel, Co Derry -  Tel 028718 13682
www.beautifuldaybrides.co.uk

10% off for one week to celebrate our 10th birthday

From Wed 10th to Wed 17th inclusive, all new orders will have 10% discount to celebrate our 10th birthday!*

*not available in conjunction with other offers - cannot be backdated or exchanged for money - 50% deposit must be made when ordering.  Applies to wedding dress, bridesmaid dress and accessory orders as well as storage boxes.

Beautiful Day Bridal Cottage, Greysteel, Co Derry

www.beautifuldaybrides.co.uk

Tenth birthday offers at Beautiful Day

Beautiful Day Bridal Cottage in Greysteel is 10 years old this month - on the 10th of September to be exact, and we've got some great things going on in the shop to celebrate!!!

Firstly, we've decided to give 10% off any new orders placed with us from the 10th Sept to the 17th Sept inclusive. (50% deposit must be paid to get this offer and only applies to new orders)

Secondly, a big 2 day sale will be held on Thurs 2nd and Fri 3rd October.  All sale dresses will be discounted by at least 50%, including some newer styles as well as discontinued lines.  We will be booking 1 hr slots for this from 12 - 8 on the Thursday and 10 - 3 o the Friday, so book early to avoid disappointment!!  Styles in teh sale are from Maggie Sottero, Essense of Australia, White One and Special Day.

Thirdly, we will be holding our annual Maggie Sottero designer weekend / trunk show on the 4th and 5th of October.  You'll get a preview of the new collection (including many styles that we don't normally have!!), plus you'll get 10% all Maggie orders placed that weekend too.  Please note that the trunk show dresses are the dresses that are used for the catwalk shows and will normally not fit ladies who are bigger than a size 12 (we will be doing a 'curvy girls weekend next year, so keep your eye out for that if you want to come to an event with larger sizes).  Again, it''s strictly by appointment only, so book your slot as early as you can as this is always a popular event!