When should I go looking for my dress? The simple answer - and the reasons behind it.

Every week I get lots of phonecalls, emails and Facebook messages from brides asking me for tips and advice about wedding dress shopping.  The most frequent question I get asked is 'When should I go looking for my wedding dress?' and I always give the same answer: 

Go looking when you are ready to buy.  

For one bride, she may be ready to buy 20 months before her wedding,  For another, it may be 7 or 8 months before the big day.

When a bride visits our shop, we give them over an hour of our time and expertise.  (And sometimes a lot more if she books a second viewing.)  Our aim is to find a wedding dress for each bride who visits us.   We gladly allow each bride to try on thousands of pounds worth of dresses.  We help her to get in and out of each dress, often pinning her into the dresses to get the best looking fit to help her imagine what it would look like if it was the perfect fit (brides visiting our shop often remark how well we do this compared to other shops).  We will guide her towards the dresses which we feel she will like and which will flatter her figure.  If she likes a dress, we will help her accessorise it, giving tips from what shoes to wear to how to do her hair and what jewellery and head dress she should go for.   We don't charge for these consultations - we do them for free in the hope that some of the brides we help will 'Say Yes to the dress' in our shop and do business with us (so that we can pay the bills!!!) 

Our job is to sell you your dream dress - and when we do that appointment, we are working with the stock we have on that given day.  Fast forward 1 week... 1 month.... 3 months... 6 months.... As each week passes, that stock is constantly evolving.  If you follow our Facebook page you will see constant updates.  Pictures of new arrivals.  New styles straight from the catwalk so that we keep our stock fresh, following all the latest trends that our designers have to show us.  You'll also see Facebook updates warning of imminent discontinued lists.   For example, we lost 13 Essense of Australia dresses at Christmas to one of these dreaded lists.  Before that, we lost 18 Maggie Sottero dresses in September.   Also, if a supplier runs out of a certain fabric or trimming, they will discontinue a dress with immediate effect.

As well as losing stock to the designers' discontinuations, at Beautiful Day, we have always sold current season dresses 'off the peg' in our shop, mainly to brides with wedding dates that are too close for them to order a dress in.  We cannot hold on to every single dress in case someone decides to re-visit it at a later date. With every new dress I get in, I have to move a dress along to make room for the new stock on my rails.  It's all part of keeping our selection fresh and current and helping to fund the process of getting new stock in.  I love seeing the new styles come along to replace the ones we've moved along - we're in a fashion business and following changing trends is what we do to avoid our business becoming stagnant.

So where does this all fit in with my advice on leaving your bridal consultations until you are ready to buy a dress?

I'm always harping on to people to strike when the iron is hot and to order their dress once they find 'the one' - we can never promise that a dress will not become discontinued or won't be sold to someone in between your first visit to our shop and an appointment on a later date when you've decided that it's time to buy. With the sheer volume of brides who visit us, we cannot be expected to track every single bride and keep her up to date on a style's status if she hasn't put down a deposit. (We do track them however is a deposit is paid.) For every ten brides who leave loving a dress in our shop but don't pay a deposit, we are lucky if one or two of them ever even come back to order it, so unless a deposit is paid, we do not mark a dress down as 'the one' for a bride. In the past few months we've had several disappointed brides who've come back to our shop to see a dress they'd tried on during a previous visit and they were bitterly disappointed when they found it was gone. Some brides had left it nearly a year to come back - for one bride, it was only just over a week. It's not nice breaking the bad news that she can't try it on again, or even worse, that she can't even order it. frown emoticon   I've had the tears, the drama - even the slamming of doors from brides who came back thinking all they had to do was hand over the deposit for that dress they saw on a previous visit, only to find themselves back to square one, often with a very limited time-frame to start from scratch.   One bride a while back had even got a custom made head dress costing hundreds of pounds to match a certain dress that she found was discontinued when she came back to order it.  Another had went and bought bridesmaid dresses to match in with a dress that was gone and no longer available to order.

Please ladies - only go shopping when you are ready to say 'Yes to the dress' should you find it there and then. Leaving the decision until a later date because you are not ready is a risky tactic, and you should only walk away from a dress that day if you are willing to take the risk of coming back and having the decision taken out of your hands.   To avoid this happening, shop only when you're ready so that you're not pouring your time and energy - as well as ours - into something that you may not be able to get at a later date.  Say 'Yes to the dress' that you know you can wear on your wedding day, not to one that you hope (fingers crossed) that you will be able to come back and still get in the future.

Happy shopping!!  Ciara xx

www.beautifuldaybrides.co.uk


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Eight top mistakes to avoid when looking for your wedding dress

You've just got engaged and one of the first things on your mind is the wedding dress.  Questions race through your mind - what shape will I wear?  What neckline will mine be?  Will it be a modern style dress? Will it be vintage inspired?  When will I start shopping?  Who will I bring with me? Where will I go to look?  What is my budget?   How much research do I do before I go shopping?

There are so many questions and so many ways to go wrong when it comes to picking your dress. I've got to see these over the ten years I've had my shop (Beautiful Day Bridal Cottage) and I hope to address some of these questions and help you steer away from making some of the mistakes that many brides make which will help you on your quest to find that perfect dress!!

1. Don't go looking too early.  You really shouldn't go shopping until at least 12 - 14 months before your wedding.  Couples tend to have longer engagements these days and the temptation is there to go looking as soon as you get the ring on your finger. If you go too early, you run the risk of over-thinking things and seeing styles that will be gone or discontinued by the time you are ready to buy.  New styles are always coming along, and if you buy 2 or 3 years before your wedding and a new trend comes along 12 months before your wedding, you may find yourself getting tempted to change your dress - a very costly thing to do!!  And as wedding dresses are made to order, there's no exchange policy in bridal shops if you change your mind!!!!  So go shopping when you feel it's time to start properly looking for a dress to wear for your wedding.  For some ladies, this time may be 9 months before, for others, it's 13 or 14 months before - each bride feels ready in their own time.  The key point is to go only when you are ready. This might sound logical, but we get numerous 'out for ideas' appointments where the bride isn't focused and ends up getting overwhelmed and more confused.   Plus, she may go back months later to see a dress she loved when it was too early for her to commit and find that it's been sold or has went discontinued. Don't assume that if you see one you love that it will be still there later on for you to come back to.
2. Don't go too late.  Wedding dresses have to be made to order, so if you leave it too late, you will be at a huge disadvantage as you will have a very limited choice ie. whatever the shop has in the size you are.  As a rule, most dresses need to be ordered about 7 months in advance (although some can be ordered a bit closer than that) so you will be cutting down your choices substantially if you leave it past this.  There is also a risk of 'panic-buying' your dress which you may regret!
3. Choose your helpers wisely.   I have a whole blog post dedicated to this one!!  My advice is to bring one or two helpers with you, and to make sure that they are on the same wave-length as you.  If your mother or sister or best friend is very opinionated and is always pushing ideas on you, then leave her at home and bring her along to see your dress once you've picked it.  I sometimes get brides who bring four, five or six 'helpers' and they are getting various opinions thrown at them before they even get to look in the mirror and end up feeling deflated if negative things are being said about how the dresses looks  (eg. 'that makes your bum look huge', 'you've got back fat in that one', 'you can't carry that style off', 'your shoulders are too broad to wear that neckline'.)  More of a hindrance that a help!!! Often your helpers will think they are giving constructive criticism, but what you find is that the whole experience just highlights your insecurities and turns into a bit of a nightmare - so choose wisely!! And remember that old saying about too many cooks!  
4. Don't have tunnel vision .   Many brides spend hours online looking at 6ft tall size 6 or 8 models who are perfectly proportioned and choose their type of dress based on what they see in these pictures.  They come to visit a shop and won't look at other styles, therefore limiting them to a style that may not be all that flattering compared to a different style of dress. It pays to keep an open mind when coming shopping, and don't forget that the staff in the shops have seen all the dresses on and will often be able to guide you to things that will be really flattering on.
5. Picking a dress to please someone else.  This one follows on from point number 3.  All brides will want to get opinions from friends, and/or family members - I can count on one hand how many have bought in my shop in the past ten years without bringing along a helper. However, she should be careful when it comes to taking opinions on board. Well-meaning friends may influence a bride to go for a dress that she doesn't really love. Up until she asks people for opinions, a bride may be over the moon with the dress that she has been considering, but if the negative comments follow, she may decide to choose something else based on the lack of enthusiasm from her helpers and she could end up with a dress that doesn't make her as happy, or as I call it, a 'compromise dress'.  Expecting others to refrain from voicing their opinions isn't realistic. Asking people for recommendations and advice is one thing, but asking them to give their verdicts about a specific dress is another. In the end, the wedding dress only needs to please one person: the bride. As long as she is happy with it, everything else should fall into place.
   
6. Trying on too many wedding dresses.  If you end up trying on dozens of dresses, they all tend to blur together in your mind, and what happens is that looking back and trying to remember  a single one can be just about impossible. If you try on too many dresses, you are a lot less likely to experience that magical moment of discovering the perfect dress when you try on one after another - after another after another.....- over a period of several months. (back to point one in the first tip - this often happens when you start looking to early!!) If possible, try to limit yourself to about 12 dresses at most (unless the 12 are horrible and you need to keep trying to find one that you look good in!) You should only keep trying on more dress when you the ones you've been trying aren't the right ones for you. In some cases, a bride-to-be may be tempted to keep trying on different styles because she just isn't ready to commit to a single one. This kind of thinking is dangerous and can lead to a lot of wasted time and confusion. If a bride tries on too many dresses, she's far more likely to second-guess herself as well and later doubt her decision.  Don't fall into that trap!!  I did a survey recently and found out that 40% of brides found their dress in the first shop, 26% on the second shop, and 18% in the third shop. (leaving 16% who went to look at 4 or more - one even went to 24 appointments!!!) so don't be assuming that something is wrong if you haven't visited 7 shops!!! That isn't the norm - far from it! 84% of brides buy their dress after visiting three shops or less, with the first shop being the most popular shop to buy in. 
7. Trying on dresses that are over your budget.  If you have a strict budget of £850, don't be tempted to try on a £1700 dress if there is no way that you can afford it.  It will only leave you feeling down in the dumps if you fall in love with it and can't re-work your budget to suit,  You will always look at the dress you end up buying and feel like it's second best.  I had a very depressed bride in recently who made the mistake of trying on and falling in love with a £5000 dress in another bridal shop which was four times her budget.  She was very frustrated trying to find one that lived up to this dress.  Always let the sales team know your budget and they will always help to guide you - they might even have a discontinued dress in the store room that would be perfect for you. 
8. Waiting for 'that reaction'  Some brides have been told that you will get a certain reaction when you find 'the one'.  Some people tell you that you should cry.  Others reckon you need to be jumping up and down with excitement.  The truth is, neither of these are common reactions and I can never predict how an individual will react when she finds her dress.  Some brides are more dramatic in general than others and they will have a different reaction compared to a more placid or easy-going bride.   If you find yourself saying that you really like a dress, but feel that you still need to keep looking, then it probably isn't the one.  Some brides tell me when they visit my shop that they have a potential dress picked out in another shop but not ordered, and I always remind them that they wouldn't be out trying more dresses on in my shop if it was 'the one.'  When you find 'the one', you won't be interested in any other dresses.  I often compare it to finding your man - I ask brides if they felt they needed to kiss all the men in their town to be sure that their fiancé was the one for them.  They all tell me that they fell in love and didn't need to kiss any more frogs to know . Finding your wedding dress is a bit like that and you shouldn't put yourself under any more pressure when you find one that you love to keep trying on more and more dresses to try and get some sort of stronger reaction.  When you fall in love, stop looking!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

The dress you will pick has to do one thing to you. It has to make you feel beautiful. You should look in the mirror and get a 'feeling' about it. For some, it's simply feeling like a million dollars.  For others, it's butterflies in their tummy or feeling their heart skip a beat.  For many it is feeling excited about your fiancé seeing you walking up the aisle in the dress you are standing in.  The earth won't move.  The tears probably won't flow, and you won't pass out with excitement, but you will will say 'I love this dress!!'  and the thought that for one reason or another you couldn't have that dress would probably make you feel gutted.                                                                                                                                                                                     

Best of luck with the wedding dress shopping!!!      xx Ciara           

When should I order my wedding dress?

At recent wedding exhibitions, I have been asked the following question by loads of brides.  'When should I order my dress?'   As a rule, we tell our customers that they should have orders for wedding dresses in about 7 months before the wedding (at the very latest!!! order earlier if you possibly can!)  and 5 months for bridesmaids - stick to that rule and you shouldn't go wrong.  

We always allow a ‘cushion’ of at least 6 weeks between the quoted delivery date and the bride’s wedding.   I like all orders to be in a good bit before the wedding to allow adequate time for a relaxed run-up to the big day for getting things like alterations carried out and accessories picked, so whilst the company are not actually quoting us the full 6 or 7 months, this is the guideline which keeps stressful timescales at bay!

If you can , get ordered a good 9 months or more in advance.  The earlier you get in your dresses, the sooner you can relax and get organised.  No bride wants to be be getting anxious over how close to her wedding that her order is going to arrive.  Organising a wedding can be stressful enough without having to worry about how close to your wedding your dress will arrive. And as a busy shop owner, it is a worry that I can do without as I get stressed out over deliveries too!!!!! (especially when they arrive later than what I was expecting and I am getting the 'is it in yet?' phonecalls from frantic brides!)  I often get brides who keep putting off going to try on dresses as they are in the process of losing weight, but don't forget, you can always go out looking a year before, and if you find your dress, you can still put a deposit down to secure it and get measured 7 months before the big day to give you a chance to start on your weight loss regime and get a dress closer in size to the dress size you will be on your big day. The dress can always be taken in if you lose any additional weight.  Better to do that than to leave it a couple of months before the wedding and miss out on the dress that you really wanted. My heart sinks when a bride makes an appointment and tells me her wedding is only a few months away as I know she will be limited in her choice of dress.  Every bride should have the liberty of choosing any dress in any size in any colour that we can get.  The more organised you are, the more choice you will have.  You can still buy off the peg if you leave it too late to order, but you won't have the same selection as you would have had if you had come earlier, and it's not every dress we will part with for a bride who needs a dress in a rush!!

In sum, my advice is 'be prepared and get organised!!'  Get out at least a year before your wedding if you can – the earlier you get out the more relaxed the whole experience will be and you won't be feeling pressure to 'panic buy'   Most brides coming to our shop for the first time have over a year until their big day.  Our average first time bride goes looking about 13 months before her big day.

Our entire Essence of Australia range and some of our Maggie Sottero dresses can also be got on rush cuts (additional fees apply to most of these) so if you have left it a bit late, we won't turn you away - we always have options available including the option of buying off the peg (although your choices will be more limited).   Some of our bridesmaid dresses can also be got on a rush cut so don't fret about that either if you have left that task a bit late.  

And one last tip – only go shopping when you feel you are ready to buy, so don't come out too early either until you are ready to do some serious looking.  Our stock is forever evolving.  New dresses are always coming in… current dresses are forever being discontinued… dresses are being bought off the peg.  So if you do decide to go shopping early, NEVER assume that you will be able to come back and revisit a dress in the future as it may no longer be in the shop or it may be discontinued. This is something I find happens all the time (and I often get grief from brides to be about it!)  so wait until you are ready to go shopping, as opposed to saying ‘Let’s go out for ideas and revisit those ideas in 6 months time or next year’.   That gorgeous dress that you loved may well be gone on your next trip back to the shop.  It's a bit like you saying that you want to buy a house in 18 months time.  You wouldn't go visiting estate agents or arranging house viewings until you were ready to make a move.  You might have a nosy at websites to get ideas, but you wouldn't throw your energy into house-hunting until the time was right to act on making a purchase.

If you do go out early and find ‘the one’, then STOP LOOKING at wedding dresses!! Get it ordered, and when it comes in,  put it away when it arrives in and don’t let it lose its magic by looking at it too much!  I get loads of brides visiting my shop who tell me that they have a dress at home that they have went off.  Wedding dresses are too expensive to buy and not wear, so don't fall into that category and be disciplined to tick the box as 'done' when you decide on the one.

Happy (stress free) shopping.x x   Ciara